Lobster Stuffed With Tacos

Warning: Contains Science Fiction. Don Gloves and Masks.

Archive for the category “Toys”

Toy Story. (But Not The Movie. A Story About A Toy…Story.)

“It also seems to me that he was a pretty sophisticated toy for a pre-digital age, since he exhibited “behavior” of a sort, and responded to stimuli—or to one stimulus, I should say, and only if you actually hit him at the right spot on the tail. (And never, not once, did I ever make the dart actually stick to his tail, the way that kid did in the commercial.) But soon enough, entropy began to encroach upon the mighty Zor—just as it did on the real dinosaurs—as the ping pong balls went missing or got dinged up so that they wouldn’t fire or (in one case) got accidentally crushed underfoot in the heat of battle. And then his roar gave out, and he began to lurch more like a raucous drunk than a murderous carnivore, and finally his motor fried itself, and the light went out of Zor’s eyes forever. Well, to be honest, he never had a light in his eyes, but you know what I mean. I kept playing with the gun, though, even after the spring inside broke and it wouldn’t fire darts anymore, because it was so cool looking. (Hey, I was eight, alright?) I can still remember the feel of the grip in my hand.

The noble thing to do when he died would have been to bury him in the backyard, so that he could either join with the elements, or fossilize like his brethren and intrigue future paleontologists. I can’t actually remember what happened to him, but it’s possible he’s still in the attic of my parents’ house, along with the broken gun and three and a half ping pong balls, still waiting for me, still fighting mad.” — James Hynes, Cultwriter


When Toy Makers Had No Timidity…

“The premise of the toy was that the cubes were actually monsters, which were hibernating in the Starburst-like forms, waiting to be unleashed by the mad scientist (the child). The cubes were placed inside the see-through plastic chamber, where they were heated; and the cubes, consisting of ‘memory plastic,’ would revert to their original shapes – a variety of weird-looking monsters and dinosaurs. They could be removed from the heat (using the tongs) and, after cooling, could be played with normally, as little plastic figures.

If they misbehaved, the child could turn them back into cubes by reheating them in the chamber (remember to use the tongs!), and then placing them inside a small metal chamber in the toy’s base, where a hand-cranked vice would take the now-softened monsters and squish them back into cube form – complete with the Mattel logo on one side.”

— T. Frye, Pop-Cult.com

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