Lobster Stuffed With Tacos

Warning: Contains Science Fiction. Don Gloves and Masks.

Archive for the category “Robots”

In Olden Days

Shinn builds her from out of uslang elm

and horse sinew,

a macabre form, having no name.

She escapes, across a field of geld-gulch,

careening and gesticulating towards town,

clattering feet atop Revatahl Road, damp cobblestones

laid by small hands whose mothers wept

for husbands drunk on the whores’ Mist.

Before the villagers watching aghast, Shinn pursues,

watched by an amused Oberlin, the Windsheet barkeep,

as the facsimile barrels past

headlong into the corner Shoppe of Tricks.

The exploding cacophony pales

before the brays of Oberlin’s plowing laughter

throughout the market square air.

Upon the wreckage Shinn stares,

cascaded over crushed baskets of plump linsin

and kasards folded from dried dole flowers,

a leg in paroxysm, tension in the main spring

drawing to an end.

“Wha’ she called, this one?” Oberlin howls.

Shinn whispers, “Daughter”

so none could hear.


“Oh my, no. You look fine.” (Run, children, run!)

“Have you ever peered over a ledge, so high up…that it made you nervous or dizzy…that it made you feel the urge to jump?” Michael Stevens at Vsauce explains this as the High Place Phenomenon, and this is just part of the issue when it comes to being creeped out or put ill-at-ease with Ambiguity. Those of us who swim the waters of science fiction know this as The Uncanny Valley. Observe:


“Will you go with me to the prom? Let me babysit your children?” No. And no.

Why is Wall-e and R2-D2 just so darn cute, and yet this Japanese android makes us want to run screaming from the room in terror? As Michael Stevens explains, it all hails from “an adaptive human response to the ambiguity of threats from others.” Like Teddy Bears with teeth.

Watch this, uh, creepy explanation of ambiguity by the good folks at Vsauce.


Joan Rivers? That makes sense.

The Next Independence Day? (New Pacific Rim Trailer)

Potstickers “Westminster Bridge” Released 75 Years Ago Today


The Potsticker’s iconic photo. Robots dressed up as Daleks. (Matt Crossick/PA Wire)

By Keystone Keith, Rolling Stone editor:

May 21, 2125

“75 years ago today The Potsticker’s released Westminster Bridge, an album that by all accounts should never had made it to a recording studio let alone to a listening public. How then did this musical classic manage to reach our ears? Let’s just skip the Venn diagram and lay this out for you in complete sentences:

These four robots had it implanted in their atomic memory cells to pattern a career on the twentieth century group The Beatles. Thus, it was only logical that the wildly popular Potstickers would sit on the precipice of an unconscionable break-up. (For those still needing a Beatles 101 reminder, go here to this old Wikipedia page.) Plans for a new album were shoved forward despite the plague of personality issues consisting of random zeroes and ones. The romance between the band’s co-lyricist and bleep-blorp machine player JAR-lottis and Japanese performance artist and former sex doll Yoriba reached its zenith and steered the Potstickers into exploring new horizons, as with classic songs like 3.141592653589793238462643383279502 884197 1693993751058209749445923078164062862089986280348253421170 679821480865132823066470938446095505822317253594081284811174 502841027019385211055596446229489549303819644288109756659334 4612847564823378678316527120190914564856692346034861045432664 821339360726024914127372458700660631558817488152092096282925 4091715364367892590360011330530548820466521384146951941511609. Additionally the group had just wrapped up filming its third movie, the physically painful Palvelstad, written by Yoriba and Joe Eszterhas. The band’s jrwork fiddler, RED-777, (who had sat out the recording session for their previous album, Shtone) up and disappeared for six months before he was spotted at the Oklahoma Spaceport loading and off-loading passenger baggage. PAU-@@@, co-lyricist and rhythm bonjabar, made nothing easier for the rest of the band: instead of composing new music, PAU set about dictating plans for the overthrow of South America. Throughout this tumult, fan favorite and zeemo player, “Kenush”, would simply sit in the corner of any given room and pretend to be a waste basket, which is how he infiltrated Buckingham Palace for eight weeks and struck up a friendship with the nation’s first and only cyborg king, Kronos III. The avalanche of robo-personality ticks and social tantrums made the creation of the Potstickers’ final album a bloody miracle. Had it not been for the demonstrative efforts of their human record producer George Herbert Walker Martin, “Westminster Bridge” would have crashed and burst into flames. (Much like Kenush did ten years ago when his hydrogen pack failed, thus scotching any plans for a reunion.)”

Where Will We Draw the Line…Down the Line?

in Tsukuba, Monday, Mar. 16, 2009. (AP Photo/Koji Sasahara)

Kobie, a nanny-bot 71-B, who was struck and destroyed by a vehicle. Historic manslaughter charges are pending against the driver, 36 year-old ICC owner Shiro Ishii.

NHK  (Tokyo, Japan) — Supreme Prosecutors Office is making world history today when it files formal felony vehicular manslaughter charges against a driver who crashed into and destroyed a 71-B nanny droid back in January.

According to the NHK, the severity of the charge stems from a mounting public pressure based on the local popularity of the nanny droid, affectionately known as Kobie, who nurtured hundreds of children over the last twenty years, and the perceived callousness of the driver, 36 year-old Shiro Ishii.

Never have any form of negligent death charges been leveled at a human in the destruction of an android. Reactions to the charges have divided the international community.

According to police reports, Kobie was escorting a class of 7 and 8 year-old children during a field trip when she was struck by Ishii’s Arctic Cynko and destroyed. Children who saw the accident screamed and cried. Others rushed into the street to help Kobie and narrowly missed being struck by traffic.

“Her body was completely crushed, crumpled beneath that car, and that blue fluid pouring out of her,” said Niagi Samo, one of many bystanders who rushed to comfort the children. “They could not be consoled. How they wailed. How they screamed and cried. It was horrible!”

Read more…

The Second Amendment…in the Year 2021!

Lieutenant! This planet as crossed the line. Assemble the giant robot!

— Dick Solomon, high commander, crime victim.

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