Lobster Stuffed With Tacos

Warning: Contains Science Fiction. Don Gloves and Masks.

Archive for the category “Monsters”

In Olden Days

Shinn builds her from out of uslang elm
and horse sinew,
a macabre form, having no name.

She escapes, across a field of geld-gulch,
careening and gesticulating towards town,
clattering feet atop Revatahl Road,
damp cobblestones laid by small hands
whose mothers wept for husbands drunk
on the whores’ Mist.

Before the villagers watching aghast,
Shinn pursues,
watched by an amused Oberlin, 
the Windsheet barkeep,
as the facsimile barrels past
headlong into the corner Shoppe of Tricks.
The exploding cacophony pales
before the brays of Oberlin’s plowing laughter
throughout the market square air.

Upon the wreckage Shinn stares,
cascaded over crushed baskets of plump linsin
and kasards folded from dried dole flowers,
a leg in paroxysm, tension in the main spring
drawing to an end.

“Wha’ she called, this one?” Oberlin howls.
Shinn whispers, “Daughter”
so none could hear.



13 - 1

“Top 10: Horror Movie Animals” (Some graphic clips)

10. Mosquitos (Enlarged by drinking alien blood.)

9. Crocodile (It’s Betty White’s pet. Really. She feeds it cows.)

8. Sheep (Yeah. I’m not joking. Crazed sheep.)

7. Anaconda (What accent is Jon Voight doing?)

6. Ants (Enlarged by radiation. Sci-fi classic. Genuflect, please.)

5. Piranha (Genetically enhanced by military experiments.)

4. Spiders (Genetically enhanced by gettin’ it on with another spider outside its species.)

3. St. Bernard (Emotionally enhanced by rabies. Thank you Stephen King.)

2. Birds (Emotionally enhanced by their rage at having to put up with humankind for thousands of years.)

1. Great White shark (Enhanced by, uh, just being a really big shark. )

Science ‘Splains Stuff: Creature From the Black Lagoon

(Gazing at the mummified hand of piscine amphibious humanoid)
Dr. Thompson: It’s amazing!
Dr. Reed: It’s incredible!
Patsy: It’s only a model.
King Arthur: Sh!

If Every Monster Movie lived up to Its Poster

“Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.” — Marcellus, Hamlet, Act 1


Seriously, just seeing this 1962 Danish movie poster makes the eight year-old boy in me wanna drop to my knees and thank god for monster movies. And now, let’s go inside the theater and see the final product…

Uh, yeah. The monster is not without it’s charm. That being said, let’s peek at this 1962 television toy commercial. Please note the eerie comparison between the Reptilicus and King Zor.

Just saying.

Frankenstein: The Creature

“Like one who, on a lonely road/Doth walk in fear and dread/And, having once turned round, walks on/And turns no more his head/Because he knows a frightful fiend/Doth close behind him tread. —Coleridge’s Ancient Mariner

Lynn Ward

No. I would never think on my own to quote from Coleridge. Only once have I read that poem, back when I helped my daughter slog through it as part of a college English assignment. But in Victor Frankenstein’s tiny abode he awakens to the creature standing over him, now loose in his home (yes, his so-called lab is a tiny room in his apartment and not a cavernous place, as depicted in the movies). Like a shot he flees into the night and nervously paces about, engulfed in the apprehension that he is being stalked by the creature. He realizes that he has no Plan B for dealing with the life he has created. (Perhaps he didn’t think it would actually work?) Herein he senses the creature nearby, lurking about and quotes this passage by Coleridge as it reflects his mounting terror.

I’ll come back to this point of the story in a moment. For now, back to the creature’s ‘birth’. To Robert Walton, Victor describes the great and dreadful moment when it came to life:

“It was on a dreary night of November that I beheld the accomplishment of my toils. …by the glimmer of the half-extinguished light, I saw the dull yellow eye of the creature open; it breathed hard, and a convulsive motion agitated its limbs. …His yellow skin scarcely covered the work of muscles and arteries beneath; his hair was of a lustrous black, and flowing; his teeth of a pearly whiteness…his shrivelled complexion, and straight black lips. …For this I had deprived myself of rest and health. I had desired it with an ardor that far exceeded moderation; but now that I had finished, the beauty of the dream vanished, and breathless horror and disgust filled my heart.”

How the creature is technically brought to life is conveyed only in the line:

“I collected the instruments of life around me, that I might infuse a spark of being into the lifeless thing that lay at my feet.”

Naturally a modern sci-fi writer with quintuple the medical knowledge and detailed descriptions of modern medical appliances and procedures, would engulf their tech-savy CSI-draunched audiences with said realism. Unbeknownst to Ms. Shelly, she is forging a new literary genre. While she understands that her story is unique to the audiences of her time, she keeps a literary aim on the human drama, simple and focused straightforward on the agony of the doctor, who leaves the room where the creature lies struggling to live. Next, Victor falls asleep in the next room and has a terrifying nightmare:

“I thought I saw Elizabeth, in the bloom of health, walking in the streets of Ingolstadt. Delighted and surprised, I embraced her; but as I imprinted the first kiss on her lips, they became livid with the hue of death; her features appeared to change, and I thought that I held the corpse of my dead mother in my arms; a shroud enveloped her form, and I saw the grave-worms crawling in the folds of the flannel.”

From here Victor awakes in a sweat and sees–

“…the wretch, the miserable monster whom I had created. He held up the curtain of the bed; and his eyes, if eyes they may be called, were fixed on me. His jaws opened, and he muttered some inarticulate sounds, while a grin wrinkled his cheeks. He might have spoken, but I did not hear; one hand was stretched out, seemingly to detain me, but I escaped, and rushed down stairs.”

Congratulations Mr. Frankenstein, it’s a hulking eight-foot…monster.

“I took refuge in the court-yard belonging to the house which I inhabited; where I remained during the rest of the night, walking up and down in the greatest agitation, listening attentively, catching and fearing each sound as if it were to announce the approach of the demoniacal corse to which I had so miserably given life…a thing such as even Dante could not have conceived.”

Theodore Van Holst

I’ve read Dante’s The Inferno and have taught it to high school seniors. Dante could easily conceive of such a monstrosity, but I understand Shelley’s point (and given her background the author’s proclivity to quote Coleridge and reference Dante). Allow me to quote from Richard Rhodes, author of Dark Sun: The Making of the Hydrogen Bomb, who quoted one of the Los Alamos scientists following the atomic bombing of Japan:

“Our beautiful physics, which had seemed like such a almost religious science commitment before the war, should have been put into the deepest and darkest part of human existence.”

This aptly describes Victor’s vacillating emotions, from his dedication to the science and now to his reversal of disgust and horror, at what the science had wrought in his hands.

At the height of his mounting disgust, his fear of its discovery by the public, and his terror in returning home to face his creation, lo and behold in the distance a coach arrives and out steps his friend Henry Clerval who has arrived for a visit. Henry easily sees that his friend is pale, thin and emotionally agitated. Forced to return to his house to give lodging to his friend, Victor happily discovers the creature missing. However, his mental state proceeds to collapse into a full-blown nervous breakdown, which leaves Victor debilitated for months and the ignorant Henry staying by his side to serve as Victor’s caretaker.

Next…chapter five.

In Memoriam: Ray Harryhausen (1920-2013)

Jason and the Argonauts

I can’t begin to elaborate on the impact Ray Harryhausen had on my childhood. But I suppose I must start somewhere. To do this justice, here are a few on the glowing tributes pouring in from masters of the cinematic universe, of whom very little would be written about, were it not for Mr. Harryhausen’s imagination and influence.

“Ray has been a great inspiration to us all in special visual industry. The art of his earlier films, which most of us grew up on, inspired us so much. Without Ray Harryhausen, there would likely have been no STAR WARS.”
George Lucas

“THE LORD OF THE RINGS is my ‘Ray Harryhausen movie’. Without his life-long love of his wondrous images and storytelling it would never have been made – not by me at least.”
Peter Jackson

“In my mind he will always be the king of stop-motion animation.”
Nick Park

“His legacy of course is in good hands because it’s carried in the DNA of so many film fans.”
Randy Cook

“You know I’m always saying to the guys that I work with now on computer graphics ‘do it like Ray Harryhausen’.”
Phil Tippett

“What we do now digitally with computers, Ray did digitally long before but without computers. Only with his digits.”
Terry Gilliam.

“Ray, your inspiration goes with us forever.”
Steven Spielberg

“I think all of us who are practioners in the arts of science fiction and fantasy movies now all feel that we’re standing on the shoulders of a giant. If not for Ray’s contribution to the collective dreamscape, we wouldn’t be who we are.”
James Cameron


(quotes courtesy of the Harryhausen family)

He Said It, Not Me.

“Never own more than you can carry in both hands at a dead run.”
― Robert A. Heinlein

Can’t Sleep?

Celebrity News (in the Future): B-Flyz

(HuffPo) — Rapper B-Flyz made news two years ago when the creature, who helped redefine bluegrass rap and jazz metal tap-dance, turned supervillain and pulled one of Saturn’s moons out of orbit. (Okay, it was only by a few kilometers, but still!) Today, trial begins for the rapper who was charged with vandalizing the San Andreas fault line, a crime the rapper has vehemently denied. Before you tune up the HyperCrime Channel in 3-D and kick back for a marathon of courtroom drama, enjoy a look back at the highlights of B-Flyz antics and accomplishments (mostly antics):


Not just an electron microscope image of Milferd Tillman, a bluebottle fly larva. This is Milferd Tillman aka B-Flyz, decked out in his trademark hoodie that so terrified white people.

Read more…

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