Lobster Stuffed With Tacos

Warning: Contains Science Fiction. Don Gloves and Masks.

Potstickers “Westminster Bridge” Released 75 Years Ago Today


The Potsticker’s iconic photo. Robots dressed up as Daleks. (Matt Crossick/PA Wire)

By Keystone Keith, Rolling Stone editor:

May 21, 2125

“75 years ago today The Potsticker’s released Westminster Bridge, an album that by all accounts should never had made it to a recording studio let alone to a listening public. How then did this musical classic manage to reach our ears? Let’s just skip the Venn diagram and lay this out for you in complete sentences:

These four robots had it implanted in their atomic memory cells to pattern a career on the twentieth century group The Beatles. Thus, it was only logical that the wildly popular Potstickers would sit on the precipice of an unconscionable break-up. (For those still needing a Beatles 101 reminder, go here to this old Wikipedia page.) Plans for a new album were shoved forward despite the plague of personality issues consisting of random zeroes and ones. The romance between the band’s co-lyricist and bleep-blorp machine player JAR-lottis and Japanese performance artist and former sex doll Yoriba reached its zenith and steered the Potstickers into exploring new horizons, as with classic songs like 3.141592653589793238462643383279502 884197 1693993751058209749445923078164062862089986280348253421170 679821480865132823066470938446095505822317253594081284811174 502841027019385211055596446229489549303819644288109756659334 4612847564823378678316527120190914564856692346034861045432664 821339360726024914127372458700660631558817488152092096282925 4091715364367892590360011330530548820466521384146951941511609. Additionally the group had just wrapped up filming its third movie, the physically painful Palvelstad, written by Yoriba and Joe Eszterhas. The band’s jrwork fiddler, RED-777, (who had sat out the recording session for their previous album, Shtone) up and disappeared for six months before he was spotted at the Oklahoma Spaceport loading and off-loading passenger baggage. PAU-@@@, co-lyricist and rhythm bonjabar, made nothing easier for the rest of the band: instead of composing new music, PAU set about dictating plans for the overthrow of South America. Throughout this tumult, fan favorite and zeemo player, “Kenush”, would simply sit in the corner of any given room and pretend to be a waste basket, which is how he infiltrated Buckingham Palace for eight weeks and struck up a friendship with the nation’s first and only cyborg king, Kronos III. The avalanche of robo-personality ticks and social tantrums made the creation of the Potstickers’ final album a bloody miracle. Had it not been for the demonstrative efforts of their human record producer George Herbert Walker Martin, “Westminster Bridge” would have crashed and burst into flames. (Much like Kenush did ten years ago when his hydrogen pack failed, thus scotching any plans for a reunion.)”

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